thread Happy fucking birthday to me :D

*edit* ta folks! Yesterday was the first day where I forgot how old I was. Oops.
permalink And a happy fucking birthday to you indeed!
Arrrrgh, etc.
permalink 50?
permalink ...and a couple
more. Plus one.
permalink 53?
permalink Bingo!

Have a biscuit.
permalink Soggy?

permalink Go on then.
permalink 'appy fearday
permalink Happy birthday!
Just been in a traffic accident. We'd pulled over, the car behind us had stopped, the car behind that one didn't stop. Hit the car and pushed it into our van.

There's not a lot of damage, it's still usable, but waiting for the ambulance and police takes bloody ages and waiting to see if the driver who did it takes responsibility or not is quite stressful.
permalink I think he pretty much has to, no?
Why did you pull over (not that it affects the blame, I am just nosey)?

Are you all okay?
permalink We're all OK.
Lady in the middle car got checked out by an ambulance but was fine. Mrsjam was in our van alone, it's got out.

We stopped because we were involved in a road traffic accident and that's the law?
permalink Sorry, I misunderstood
I thought that you had an accident because you were stopped?
permalink The handbrake was on but the engine was running and had a driver
We had stopped not parked.
permalink Ah! So this van has an engine, then?
permalink 4rf
permalink right but I'm with Manley here
why had you pulled over in the first place?
permalink genuinely confused by the chain of events
because as I read it the collision occurred after you stopped because the collision occurred
permalink That is what is confusing me.
It seems that my question was misunderstood, which I have come to learn is nearly always my fault for being a vague arsehole.
permalink I read it as he had stopped, not parked, car behind stopped
and then a second car shunted the other car into his van.
permalink That was my initial reading
but then, when I asked why he had stopped, he said it was because they were involved in a road traffic accident and that's the law.

I am the first to admit that I get all hung up on how I read things and struggle to detangle things.
permalink I like the fact that he clarifies it
as a road traffic accident as opposed to a I've shat myself accident.
permalink First one
then the other
permalink I thought you meant
why did I stop after the accident rather than getting on with my day, sorry.

We were delivering school packs (because a significant number of our families don't have Internet).
permalink Stopped because I needed to shove something through a letter box.
I had got out of the van and closed the door when I heard the first collision (black car hitting the white one), I then turned and saw the white car hit our van.

permalink Now I understand.
Not much to be said - if you drive into the back of a car which safely stopped behind another stopped car then you are 100% culpable.
permalink this
this makes sense
permalink Won't make any difference if he does or doesn't.
Insurance companies or police will decide that.
permalink But there's an hour or two on the pavement till it gets sorted
with someone who is potentially aggressive.
permalink I got a trip in an ambulance!!!!
now I;'m just pain.

Was cycling back from the supermarket, had moved across the white line on the path as someone else was riding up (a surprisingly steep link between Riverside and the big Tesco in Cambridge), as I crossed back over I slipped on the white line (don't do it)(it was damp), fell and collided with a square wooden bollard.

Momentary blackout, fair bit of blood (as scalp injuries are prone to) . Off to hospital, where they put me into minor injuries. Got seen quickly, stitched up, two x-rays because I was complaining of jaw pain (still hurts to eat this morning) but no breaks, just bruised and swollen (thankfully). Also both shoulders hurt and one knee is nastily grazed
permalink :(
permalink ouch
that bit of cycle path is poorly designed. Something about helmets.
permalink Ouchy!
Yay for hospitals and quick stiching and getting you out before you could catch summat nasty.
permalink Ow, nasty
Keep an eye on that heid.
permalink pretty tricky
the wound's round the back and i lack the complex arrangement of mirrors
permalink Video call your laptop
from your phone
permalink You okay hun?

permalink I mean
I wasn't, obviously, and now I've two nights of just abysmal sleep
permalink Would it help
were I to chuckle at your misfortune?
permalink might as well
three nights
permalink From pain?
Or something else?
permalink discomfort
more than pain
permalink Any good painkillers
or any chance of good painkillers?

Or another duvet underneath you for extra cushioning? Or maybe just a mid-morning nap.
permalink they told me to take paracetemol
checking with paramedic sister, that is indeed the painkiller of choice for relatively minor head injuries.

nap sounds like a good plan
permalink That's interesting, I wonder why
Don't forget you can double up with another family if you need to.
permalink I think
possibly because a lot of the side effects of codeine etc are the symptoms you need to be keeping a watch for with concussion.
And I do have housemates to help with purchasing enough

permalink Somehow all the fun is taken out of it when you give me permission.
Seriously though, are you doing okay? I am self isolating and boracic, but if there is anything I can help with . . .
permalink happy birthday there
Have you got any cake?
permalink Happy bath day
to you and indeed young Al
permalink Happy fucking birthday
to you indeed

also, TEH FEAR!!! &c

permalink happy birthday
was ale imbibed?
permalink Slowly and surely throughout
the afternoon, though I stuffed myself with pizza at lunch which never really seemed to go down. The practical upshot of this was no bad head this morn :)
permalink so a massive win!
permalink Yep! And a couple of ales
left over for tonight, it all worked out quite nicely actually.
thread 37, eh?
Makes me feel very old.
permalink It's no age
at all.
permalink thank you
permalink I was wondering if this was in your honour
It's a bit weird

Pretty sure that his Manleyness is older than that, and anyway, birthday was a few weeks ago
permalink i mean
it's the right number to be me?
permalink Of course it is for Al.
I am MUCH older than him ;)
permalink *looks to camera*
permalink *likewise*
permalink You are Scottish too,
which makes you comparably geriatric.
permalink I think being 50 is the point, regardless of ancestry.
permalink I am not going to be 50 for a long time yet,
if at all.
permalink Hence, they are both older than you
hence, the look to camera.
permalink I am unsure how to say 'yes, I got that'
without looking like a patronising dick.

Not that I am not a patronising dick, I just am not being one on this specific occasion.
permalink In that case
I'll leave yous to your blethering :D
permalink *blithers*
permalink blimey, I just thought, 37? I thought he was loads younger than me
but of course you are, it's just I'm also a lot older than I am.
permalink "I'm also a lot older than I am."
That hit me right in the feels, as I understand the youth to be saying these days.
permalink It's not a yoof
thing, even I say that as well as 'yeet'.
permalink I've bought a full HD projector for £140
Its claim of 4,500 lumens is clearly bobbins but actually it's pretty good in a reasonably dark room.

I'm painting the chimney breast who's so I can use it as a screen, a hdmi spdif splitter has just arrived so I can use my surround sound system with a chromecast, and I've got a ceiling mount arriving tomorrow.

Then I'll need to put the surround speakers back up to be in the right place for the screen.
permalink It's advertised as 6,500 lumens
which is utter tosh, but it's fine in the dark and acceptable when it's not too sunny.

I'm very happy with it for the amount I paid, the ceiling mount was straight forward to put up and I've got the surround sound running now. I just need to try a film on it :)
thread Fuck I'm busy.
I've barely had a moment this week to fuck about on the internet.

What are things coming to???
permalink Whereas I've gone the other
way and am now ensconced in Red Hat Linux training for Cloud and Kubernetes Containers. It's a lot more interesting than I thought it would be!
permalink Kuberwhatnow?
I just had to look at something in NavisWorks. Ewww.

I've managed not to open that for over a year.
permalink Kubernetes.
K-yoo-ber-netty-s. It's a pod system like Docker where you separate the traditional 'operating system running applications' approach into 'core OS running basic services' and 'applications packaged into pods that can be deployed and destroyed at will without affecting service to the end user'.

Quite clever stuff.

I also fibbed. Not 5 mins after I typed that reply I got swamped with tickets and that took the rest of the day.
permalink I find it very confusing to see people talk about it
The general way it's explained to us at the google is that it's an open sourced version of borg. But then we just run stuff on borg without having to think very hard about it.
permalink I've not heard of borg,
but then I've coasted along managing to avoid all things container based until now so I haven't done too badly. Seems to be good stuff though, say you've got an app running on Nginx and there's a sudden push for demand. It will autoscale and deploy more Nginx pods with the same IP address and load balance. Once demand dies off so do the pods.
permalink Borg is the internal jobby, it’s like 15 years old.
If I need to run something, I tell Borg to run it somewhere. It takes care of finding actual machines, scaling and moving it around as other users’ scheduling needs change. The most granular location I can ask for is a data centre the size of wembley stadium, containing tens of thousands of computers.
permalink Sounds very similar, aye, though
geared more towards serving scalable apps to internet clients. Passed all the sales courses today despite me being a sharp end tech support engineer, I've not touched pre-sales since the turn of the century but it looks good with the beancounters apparently. Tech stuff next week doing all the install/config, yay!
permalink It being RedHat they are presumably pushing openshift?
I play with k8s on a daily basis. I really enjoy it as a tool.
permalink Yarp.
This time next week I'll be an OpenShift expert based off 20 hours of training :) It's actually quite fun.
permalink I’ve had no need for openshift myself. Too much stuff that isn’t relevant for us.
I absolutely love Rancher. Would highly recommend it.

When The Bad Thing started, I grabbed 3 unused desktops out of storage, put Rancher and a custom build of Guacamole on it. This is now the main rdp gateway for the company while everyone works from home.
permalink I'm new to all this container malarkey remember,
despite being a unix/linux bloke forever, so Rancher and Guacamole are just things to me :) I'll have a look.
permalink Shout if you want some hand holding
permalink they're coming
to this

Though maybe that's an unfortunate turn of phrase

permalink Surely there have to be easier ways
to take DMT than smoking frogs?
permalink Hot dog,
smoking frogs, Albert's birthday.
permalink I like this
Good for me.
permalink my work has been suspiciously busy also
I'm thinking it is about getting maximum output before the downturn + layoffs come.

I am enjoying having something new to focus so I shouldn't complain.

permalink I am frustrated by the twin issues of being unbearably busy
and also being unemployed as of July 1st.

It sort of feels like the two things do not go well together.
permalink I suggest really not being arsed
for the next three and a bit weeks
permalink I mean christ almighty
when I was being laid off the year before last other than negotiating a better redundancy package for myself and my colleagues anything I was doing for the final month or so was purely to avoid screwing over colleagues that were remaining that I actually liked as people. I fucking coasted. To be fair my manager wasn't upset because he was angry I was being laid off.

He was then laid off six months later, last I checked than company is a bit screwed
permalink Yeah
I am not doing so well.
permalink I know that feeling
a problem we're having is that there are all these firms out there in our space, where everyone is working from home, and can't do much of their normal job, so are catching up on stuff they don't normally have time to do

for us academics, this means that all the vain attempts we've been making for years to get the time and attention of industry and government people are suddenly all being replied to at once and now it's just endless scoping meetings for work we'll never have time to do because we'd normally be lucky to get a 5% response rate

it's a good problem to have, but I'm finding it hard work pretending to have my shit together right now. Just finished a 2 hour webex (ew) with government folks and the beer has been immediately poured
permalink i got an email reply to my speculative query to a contact
they said there could be some interesting work for me

I was quite disspointed, i quite like pottering around with not much to do.

permalink I'm sure Bertie
will be glad to see you out from under his feet!
permalink Partially reopening schools is discriminatory
against the most vulnerable children.

I need to write to my MP about this, I'm going to edit this part when I have time to flesh out what I want to say.

The partial reopening of school and making attendance optional will significantly impact the most vulnerable children, and schools should remain closed to all but children of key workers and vulnerable children until they can open fully.

Currently head teachers are able to judge whether a child is vulnerable and should be offered a place. This allows schools to adapt to meet the needs of the most vulnerable children.

By opening in a limited way with social distancing enforced schools will reach their maximum capacity, thus removing a school's ability to offer further places to children identified as vulnerable.

The small number of places available will undoubtedly be taken by children with capable parents. The requirements of a clean uniform every day and strict timings and behaviour at drop-off and pick-up will exclude children of parents who can't manage those things, and those children are the ones most in need of being in school.

With attendance optional children of parents who can't really be bothered are being failed.

All of these problems are exacerbated by poverty. In areas of high deprivation partial reopening of schools is failing children who need support and favouring children who are likely to be doing ok anyway.
permalink you could argue that not opening schools
is discriminatory to lower income kids who dont live in houses stocked with ipads and attentive parents.

but either way, rest assured your MP will make bugger all difference.

permalink My school, in the bottom 2% by deprivation
has done paper learning packs for all pupils. We've shared online resources on Facebook but the main stuff is hand delivered every three weeks.

The biggest problem is families with poor English and the councils rubbish provision of translation services. They've just employed someone to help liaise with esl families so this should improve.
permalink haven't most schools said fuck off anyway?
except in the case of the kids they've already been serving, of course
permalink Yes, but that's setting them up for "but the government says" arguments
And for the government to continue to lie about having opened schools.

permalink You seem to be labouring under some misaprehension
that the current 'government' gives two shits about the general populace
permalink I keep seeing headlines about trump talking about the makers of Irn Bru
...turns out the Atourney General is called Barr.

/One for the Scottish contingent.
permalink someone must have told him
to girder his loins...
thread Streaming sticks
My fire stick is on its way out. They don't seem to last very long.

Anybody have experience of other devices like roku, now, android box from China?

Edit: The frustrating thing is that I just missed the window for getting a chromecast for £3.
permalink the nvidia shield TV is a bit more pricey
but people seem to rave about it
permalink Blimey
I was aiming at under £30. My telly isn't worth £140.
permalink I suspect you get what you pay for.
Ideally, something in between?
permalink I'd recommend a kodi installed on a cheap PC/android box/raspberry Pi
It is a bit more than £30 but worth it if you watch a lot of TV. If not that then I would just replace the stick and keep the warranty information this time

Before I had a smart TV, I ran an HDMI cable out of a (low power) tower PC I built (scavenged) and put a 500GB hard drive in. The most expensive part was the wireless keyboard and mouse. I also used to cast my android phone for things like youtube but now everything is an app on the TV. youtube/netflix/amazon prime*/iplayer/4OD/ITVhub/5onDemand are all there if we we want to use them. Mostly it is Netflix, BBC Iplayer and youtube

*we don't have an amazon subscription
permalink We watch BBC, Prime, Netflix and Disney+
Does kodi do those? My wife's laptop screen died not long ago so I could use that.

The fire stick is out of warranty. I usually get them on black friday / cyber monday.

Edit in going to try sticking android x86 on it.
permalink Kodi should do anything
but I don't know how to set it up.

my friend used to get southern hemisphere rugby and cricket on his as well as HBO (probably not through the official channels)
permalink Wigan Council's director of Public health
has written to schools to say please don't open until the 15th at least, we need 14 days to see if track and trace actually works otherwise we can't meet all five measures.

Interesting stuff. She said tests 3 and 4 can't be met without local knowledge and the ability to properly deal with local hotspots.

Given track and trace is unlikely to work out looks like schools might not reopen before summer (beyond existing provision).
permalink We've got the same in
Bedford. Seems a sensible approach to me.
permalink The track'n'trace
app is of course, bollocks, so it can't and never will work. This is the one being pushed by sCumming's sister in law who just happens to be in Durham, what are the chances.
permalink But they're doing manual track and trace for new cases,
not using the app.
permalink Yay, but
is it enough? The/An app is a really good idea when properly managed but as we know we wouldn't trust this lot to sit on a bog the right way round.
permalink Is suspect that given that transmission seems more likely
Indoors and in groups, I suspect any apps might give a lot more false positives... I can see them being more useful when they reopen pubs and restaurants etc.

At the moment, some manual labour to phone round any places to say "right, there have been 5 cases pass through your workplace" or " who was at the stupid BBQ" etc might be usefully effective...if not fully.

Though, I'd still like to know more about where the current cases are coming from,. In our borough of 276k people we are getting 1 case per day, which you could imagine is mostly coming through in-family transmition or in care homes or hospitals.

Up north it looks like it might be worse.

There have been some interesting articles about the Japanese doing there track and tracing and not finding no cases out of 17k being transmitted on public transport for instance, which would be nice to know...
permalink Aye, last few weeks Gateshead
has been the worst per new cases in the north according to Mrs Witchy, fortunately round her neck of the woods people seem to be being sensible apart from her neighbours-but-one who don't see what the fuss is. I doubt all the cases are related to them however.
permalink to paraphrase Steve Baker today
we know we're sitting on the bog the wrong way round, but the correct thing to do isn't to sit the right way round, it's to continue to sit the wrong way round in order for the relevant authorities to experience sitting the wrong way round and reflect upon it
permalink Bob Mortimer uses the big the other way round because
Of an unusually located arsehole.

True fact
permalink I spoke to my mum
and she said they'd just been to the garden centre in Newton Stewart

I said, "mum, you're supposed to stay within 5 miles of home"

she said, "I know, but there isn't a garden centre within 5 miles."

I couldn't fault the logic
permalink To be fair there is bugger all within
5 miles of gatehouse and unless sheep can spread it the distance thing should be more related to population... A Glaswegian travelling 6 miles will pass more people than my mum driving 50.
permalink I don't entirely disagree, but there is a cluster of cases down that way
and if there's one place that runs a high risk of super-spreading it's a garden centre in the Costa Geriatrica
permalink That is true
permalink there reports yesterday (I think) that the current capacity
for the manual track and trace is about five cases per day
permalink What I don't understand about this
Is that 750,000 people volounteered to help the NHS. And while I can see that some info is sensitive, but a bit of training and an NDA would surely cover that... I mean mostly they will be phoning branches of Tesco and offices..

And 5 a day? Sounds like nonsense, I'm pretty sure I could give you the list of everywhere I've been in the last 2 weeks in about 15 minutes and a single person could call them in a day, call it 2 for arranging appointments and that would mean we have 10 people working on this?

I mean who is it that gets Ill and doesn't tell all Thier friends, relatives and workmates anyway?

The tricky bit of tracking would be collating the info to find hotspots like a corner shop that is spreading it or something... But that sounds like a job for an open street map overlay or a big bit of paper and some pins.
permalink the bit where it falls apart
is exactly places like Tesco. How on earth do you manually trace everyone that was in the supermarket at the same time as an infected person (without either the good app that they don't seem to want, or pre-exsting mass surveillance like South Korea and Taiwan)?
And it is clear that the contractors hired to oversee it all have been shit.

permalink the last part is certainly true
the tesco problem is tricky, even with the perfect app, a single member of staff getting it would need thousands of people tested, the number of false positives would likely just make people not use the app.

though I guess some measure of "time spent" and "riskiness" could be worked out eventually... eg, it would alert other employees to get tested, but maybe only tell customers to keep an eye out for symptoms. but how would the app know you were in tesco and not in someones flat above it.
permalink time spent in the general location,
how much you moved about? any flat is going to be smaller than the floorplan of a supermarket. however, visiting a friend that lives over a corner shop would be harder to differentiate
permalink I guess it they are working on bluetooth like the
apple one it's probably easier... but that doesn't track geographical data so less useful to pick up problem locations.

block of flats would seem a problem for anything that relies on GPS.
thread spamming buggers
In my quietish last few weeks i've been doing some silly drawings for mate's kids.. I realised you can do a timelapse video of them.

So I've revived some B3ta-era creativity and stuck them on youtube with my droning voice over them. so if anyone you have eyeballs, or children with eyeballs, or friends with children with eyeballs ... you are contractually obliged to like and subscribe.

my aim for the next videos is to make the voicey stuff less boring.
permalink I like them
Oddly therapeutic.
permalink there is something about the timelapse that is slightly hypnotic
i just have to get the subliminal messaging sorted out
permalink Not until
you start producing merchandise
permalink I could get pencils made that say
"I can't draw either"
permalink you should set up
a sponsorship page so people can send you money
permalink send me money you say....
i like this idea.
permalink even if you make £20
it is still more than you had.

Incidentally my management fees are very reasonable.

permalink get the children to send you their pocket money
& you'll do a bespoke piece for them..
permalink Like taking candy from a baby
permalink I rather like this.
Good for me.
permalink feel free to seo the whole shit out of it and make me a millionaire
permalink It has been over a decade since I did any SEO work.
I am a pointy haired boss.

Well, I was, now I am an unemployed vagabond.
permalink Living the dream
permalink I am actually utterly terrified,
but if there is one thing I learned back when i was 40 it is that being glum about it is a full time job, so I am just going to go build an engine bay for my outboards instead.
permalink What happened?
You were employed a week ago, was it unexpected?
permalink I have known for a while,
but I am officially employed until 1st July.

But yeah, my life has rather fallen apart again.
permalink the single-line highlight on dax's hat
I find particularly pleasing
permalink it is the details that usually please me
particularly when i draw them and they surprise me, like i didn't know what i was doing....... umm

I look at ones i drew a month ago and it feels like someone else drew them.

permalink I'm the same
with code I write. Soon I'll have to add features to the light detecting code on the Pi that controls my nightlights and I've not looked at it since 2016.
permalink it's also sort of an ankylosaurus
which any sane person knows is the best dinosaur
permalink I've been also trying to resurrect creativity
so I grabbed a paintbrush for the first time in a few years and done a toucan
permalink Toucan play at that game!
Actually, no I can't. That's rather lovely
permalink nomnomnom
permalink that makes me want a guiness
is that a bad thing?
permalink I actually had a Guinness after looking at that
but did not make the association.
permalink I've just jogged for 25 minutes without stopping
I know this is hardly ultramarathon distance, but it's the furthest I've ever run, so I'm pretty pleased with myself.
permalink I haven't tried again after my 1 mile run made me feel about 75
... the cycling is going well still though
permalink I've been out for 4-6 miles every evening this week
but not today. Too knacked after DIY indoors. Mind, one of those tasks was putting a blind up at the office window which is cooling the room enormously.
permalink after my first drain (losing 18kg of fluid) i felt soooo light
while walking home i thought i'd run a bit.. turns out my legs moved slower than my torso's memory of what's entailed in running
i landed flat on my face
haven't attempted it since :)
permalink I'm impressed you could even walk home!
half the time I could barely stand up again
permalink that's chuffing brilliant! i only wish i knew children age to pass it on to (i did thumbs up though)
i've just resurfaced from my weekly tar dive into established politics.. who knew cummings would bring the nation together!?

permalink Al, are you feeling a need for more anger?

Chaotic can ignore my suggestions of using these bikes, they were great to ride

permalink apparently the UK operation
isn't affected?
not sure if that story mentions it (not a subscriber), but one of the issues is that they had taken over various "community" schemes in the US, which they're also nuking as part of this.

permalink Looks like they are de-branding the UK ones
But they are still here
permalink I've tried a couple of times but there wasn't one anywhere close...
Don;t see many around here.
permalink It's Eve's fourth birthday tomorrow.
Well it's Monday but me and her mum are both busy so we're doing it tomorrow.

I'm really sad that it's during lockdown. She should be with her friends, not just her parents.
permalink we did 6th at the start of April
we had to cancel her party with her friends and the painful one with the family and just sat in, I've got no photos at all from that day, it was grim. There's supposed to be a but here, I'm not sure what it is. You've got a long time to make it up though.
permalink She had a great day.
We'd had time to put the effort in and plan.

We'd decorated well, involving stuffing loads of balloons behind the blind in the lounge, where there's a bay window. So when she got up I asked her to open the blind and she loved it. Then when the balloons had cleared a bit she saw a giant 4 and all her presents.

We then sat in the conservatory for breakfast and she got excited because of something on the table, then looked up a bit and saw her new dinosaur paddling pool.

We had a few zooms with family, and I took a fence panel out in the back garden (there's a small wall and then concrete panels inside that, so creates distance) and had arranged for a few families to drop by over the afternoon and say hello which was really nice.

Then I set up her room as a cinema (sofa, telly, popcorn, expensive icecream in little tubs) and we watched Sword in the Stone. And we had candy floss because she'd asked for it. I borrowed a friend's machine and did a really crap job of it.

I'm sad that I didn't get to hang out with her friends' parents and it was far more effort than we'd normally do, but she had a great day.
permalink Good work!
permalink that's a good birthday
permalink sounds great!
Good job
permalink nice one
can you do my b'day?